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I do.
I walked out of that conversation doubting everything — except one thing:
I never wanted to go through that again.
“This is a disaster. I don’t even know how you’re still here.”
(You can imagine the asterisks filling in what came next).
With time, I realized something important:
That person didn’t know any better.
We all mess up.
We’ve all said things that left a mark… but in the wrong direction.
It’s not about bad intentions.
It’s about lacking the right tools.
And that’s where most leaders fall short.
Once you realize this, you start to see feedback everywhere —
Even in silence.
When you choose to say nothing, you’re saying a lot.
When you speak without thinking, even more.
Most people believe feedback is just “saying what I think.”
But feedback is more than words.
It’s directed impact.
You decide what experience someone will carry after talking to you.
And most people don’t even think about it.
That’s why feedback often fails.
Not because people “can’t handle it,”
But because it’s given without structure, awareness, or responsibility.
You must understand these 2 things:
Every word shapes a story in the listener’s mind.
A careless sentence breeds doubt, frustration, distrust.
A clear one opens doors to action and possibility.
One conversation can save — or destroy — an entire team.
The difference isn’t what you say.
It’s how you say it.
So if feedback shapes experiences, ask yourself:
Are you using it to correct… Or to build?
If your feedback leads to excuses, defensiveness, or awkward silence…
It’s not them.
You didn’t build the bridge.
In my workshops, I don’t teach “nice phrases.”
I teach frameworks that eliminate emotional noise and focus on facts, impact, and action.
One of them is the S.C.I. Model.
It’s not theory.
It’s the difference between saying something that builds… or something that just vents your frustration.
Let me show you.
“You’re always disengaged in meetings.”
“You need to be more professional.”
“You can’t keep showing up late.”
These phrases trigger resistance because they’re vague, personal, and offer no solution.
The S.C.I. Model forces you to think before you speak:
When you use this framework, you’re not attacking. You’re informing.
And that changes everything.
And while giving feedback is a challenge…
Because often it’s poorly delivered.
Because we don’t know what to do with it.
Because we live between wanting to grow and wanting to protect who we are.
And yes, getting feedback from someone you dislike…
That’s another story.
That’s why positive feedback is just as critical:
It reinforces what works √
It builds trust and motivation √
It strengthens your team culture √
It’s not about empty praise.
It’s about intentional recognition that fuels progress.
The rest is practice.
Remember… Leadership isn’t about knowing what to say.
It’s about knowing how to say it when it matters most.
If this resonated with you, stay tuned for more. Check my blog – Subscribe to the newsletter and let’s build something great—together.
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© 2025 Marc Pujols Coaching. All rights reserved.
info@marcpujols.com
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